|bloodeyesockets (bloodeyesockets) wrote,|
@ 2008-02-08 16:43:00
|Current music:||Panic! At The Disco - Nine In The Afternoon|
Would You Bury Me?
Would You Bury Me?
Pairing: Mikey Way/Gerard Way, Frankie Iero/Quinn Allman
Warnings: Death, angst
It didn't seem real. This whole thing. It was like a nightmare, a dream, not how reality should be.
I straightened my suit, checking my reflection in the mirror. The black crosses that covered my eyes seemed to be mocking me, marking me as a target. I sighed, straightening my hair, making sure it was just right before turning and leaving the room.
I glanced down into the casket. It was strange, how he looked the same as he did in life, like he was going to wake any moment and tell us this was all a cruel joke. But it wasn't. I closed my eyes, lightly stroking his cheek. I sat beside him, like I'd done in the hospital room where he'd died and clutched his hand. I took a deep breath, bfore starting to talk. "I wish.. I wish you were here Gee." I paused, the silence thick and unnerving, like I was once again expecting a reply. "I wish we knew what happened for sure." I squoze his fingers lightly. "I wish I knew who did this to you." I paused and took another deep breath. "It's not the same now. We're not the same."
I gazed at his lidded eyes, now black with eyeshadow. I was forever thankful that I couldn't see his wounds. "Mikey's fallen to pieces. It's hit him hardest." I closed my eyes, trying to block out the image of Mikey just a few nights before, his wrists and thighs covered in scars. He was a wreck and he hardly ever talked and when he did it was about him needing to be with Gerard, that they were forever and it wasn't his time. Even his scars, seemingly random at first sight, upon closer inspection formed words. Gerard. I need to die. I need to be with you. I love you. It was as if Mikey was using his skin as paper to scratch out notes to his dead lover, as if that somehow made it more likely for him to see them. "I think.. I think he'll be with you soon though. But.. .until then I'll take care of him ok? Or at least try." I leaned down and kissed his forehed. "I know you're in a better place. I love you Gee, you were the best friend a guy could ask for."
The service was eerie. Surreal even. A sea of faces, all dressed in black. All sad. All sobbing. All mourning. But I kept thinking one thing, and I knew I shouldn't but the phrase rang in my head. 'You're more likely to be killed by someone you know then a stranger.'
I sat in my chair, sighing softly. Home at last. I curled up and closed my eyes, willing sleep to come.
A knock, followed by a second and a third stirred me before I could even get half asleep. "I'm coming!" I yelled, standing and coming to the door.
I opened it and there stood a soaking wet Mikey, rain making his hair stick to his head and droplets making his glasses hazy.
"Oh god Mikey, you're a mess!" I tugged him inside and he allowed himself to be dragged.
"He's gone Frankie." His voice was cracked and croaky and it didn't seem to belong to him. Then I realised that some of the watr on his cheeks was not rain, but tears. When I'd left the funeral Mikey was still there, sitting beside the grave and just staring at the headstone.
"I know Mikey..."
"I... I need him Frankie. I can't... I can't go on without him." He gazed at me, but his gaze was blank, his face expressionless, as if he was looking through me like a pane of glass.
"Mikey... you need to try..."
"I can't!" He yelled, his whole body trembling. "I can't live without him! There's no point in it. All my life he's looked out for me and now... and now he's just not...." He started to cry, fresh tears rolling from the corners of his red raw eyes. "That's why... that's why I'm here Frankie."
I blinked slowly, very confused. "Why Mikey? Tell me..."
"I know Quinn's at Bert's...so this'll make it easier..." With surprising force he hit me in the side of the head and I collapsed to the floor, blacking out.
"Frankie! Frankie wake up!" My eyes flickered open and there was Quinn above me. Well, three of Quinn. "Oh thank god you're ok!"
I stared at him, then blinked, taking deep breaths to regain conciousness. "Mikey... where's Mikey..." He looked at the floor sadly and I knew it was bad. "Quinny... whatdid he do?"
"He... he took your gun Frankie... blew a hole in the window.... I thought he'd shot you..." I wrapped my arms around him tightly. "And... and... Mrs Adams... she called me as soon as she heard it... she... and I thought..."
"Shhh baby... I'm here. I'm ok... Everything's alright."
He shook his head and my heart sank. "It's not Frankie... Mikey..."
I waited and he cried against my throat. "Ray found him... oh god... he said... he said he was over.... over the grave... and he'd blew a hole... right through his skull."
I held onto him tight, stroking his hair and feeling tears in my eyes.
But as I glanced to the window, I saw Mikey and Gerard, for just a few seconds and they were holding each and smiling.